the reason.

i've been dealing with so much recently, and i just don't find anything worth it anymore. i try so hard to work for the things i want, but it never turns out right. everything is going downhill, just when i feel like it'll all be okay for once. but nothing ever works out the way you hope.
i had the best of friends, and they are struggling to stay by my side. i had the perfect boyfriend, but i had to fuck that all up. i ended it harshly, and i wish i didn't. but i couldn't handle it anymore; i just didn't want to hurt him, but i did anyway. like i said; nothing works out the way you want it.
i just want to move, get this over with. start all over, maybe then i could see myself as a happy person, without faking my smiles all the time. i hate superficial happiness. it's slowly breaking me down, little by little, piece by piece. and i just need to get the hell outta here.
the one thing that i want right now, is to be able to see myself completely happy, inside and out. nothing to worry about, problems all solved, a whole new life.
that's why i want to move to georgia. where my bestfriend is.
but i want my connecticut bestfriend to come with me. she is the only thing that i need from connecticut, really. i have other amazing friends, but she needs me right now, and i need her.
so much sh*t going on right now, i don't want to deal with it at all.
but just as a last little memo here, i've been listening to this song all day.

"I just want you to know..
I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be,
A reason to start over new, and the reason is you."

That's for you, bestfriend. iloveyou<3