i'm not the same kidd from your memory.

I've procrastinated writing here. i just haven't had much to talk about, that matters most. life's passing in a blur, and nothing really matters that much anymore. nobody's the same, life's not the same at all. but most of all, i've changed. and i've learned that it's not worth being put through the same bullshit that's been handed to me over and over again. i'm done putting it off and acting like everything's okay. i've learned who my true friend's are, and that having to give them multiple chances is not going to make it better, or make them learn from their mistakes. i've been screwed over way too many times by the same people to have to just keep forgiving them and moving on. because later down the road, history just repeats itself, and the whole process starts all over again.
i'm sick of it. if i'm done, i'm done. don't test me. the lies, the pressure, the anger. i don't need it, and i don't want it. i don't care who hates me, or who complains that i'm not the same person anymore. i'm obviously going to change, everyone does. I'd like to see it that i'm changing for the better. I've been maturing a lot recently, and I've noticed that most of the people who bitch about us 'not being close anymore' aren't even going to care after high school. there's only one person i can think of at this very moment that i know for a fact will still be right behind me after i graduate and go off to college. yeah, maybe some of those other people i know i will still be close with, but it's highly unlikely.
i'm not going to let anyone or anything get into the way of what i want to do in life, of my dreams, and my goals. and I've already started erasing people from my life that are doing that. i don't need anyone to block me from the road i'm walking down.
so for those who i do end up pushing away, i'm sorry. but it was nice knowing you. and believe me, they've all had a huge impact on my life. it's just not something that will last forever.