inconsideration.

i don't know why i tried so hard with this kidd. i really don't. i gave him a second chance, and to me it seems like he's just throwing it all away again. or maybe i'm just stupid, jealous, and pathetic. maybe i'm right, and maybe i should have left him at that. left him the way he left me. is this even going to be worth it in the end? sure, i constantly tell myself: he's that one person you know you will have for the rest of your life, no matter what you go through, no matter what happens. but sometimes i also wonder: why do i keep trying, if i know i'm going to get hurt again in the end? i got hurt once already, and i don't want to again, even if i am prepared. i won't be able to handle that.

i don't even know what to do with this kidd anymore. a;sdjfalfjksa;lfjsaf;dkjsdf;lj, that's how my mind is flowing right now, a;djfas;klfjsafjlsa;lfj. uugh. i just wanna stand on a rooftop and scream my heart out.

i can't keep doing this; i can't keep believing in everyone so much.